A Lifetime of Learning – Reclaim the Selfish! (A Helper’s Guide)

Hi there! I know, it’s been too long! Since I last posted, I did indeed find a new job and it was exactly what I “wanted.”  Oh, how sweet that laundry list of …”things/qualities/accomplishments I want to check off and once those are all accomplished then life will be perfect!!!”  NOT!

I noticed that after the Honeymoon period subsided, I started to feel those very familiar pangs of uncertainty. Ahhhhhh!   I was waking up very anxious again, neglecting my self-care (coupled with a long, long commute!), feeling very defensive or “why me?” about my work, starting to isolate myself in my office.  Not pretty! and not very enjoyable if I may say so.  I became very resentful of those around me who seemed to have it all together and I was resetful of the very job that I asked the universe to give me!

The lesson I learned so far is that no matter what situation I am in, if I am not taking care of myself  then I cannot be there to help others, which is heavily required in my current position and I think on a larger scale, a part of my journey in this lifetime. 

   A hard lesson to learn, but one that I am thankful to be continually reminded of.

As healers, empaths, counselors, helpers we all deserve to feel happy!  If I went to my dentist and he looked tired, fatigued, and sullen…I wouldn’t let him touch my mouth with a ten foot pole!  In the same way, energy workers and therapists alike should take that time to recharge and re-energize.  I would tell my dentist to take the day off so why shouldn’t I do the same?  The challenge of being a helper (as I have learned in my experience) is that we feel guilty for taking time for ourselves or being a little selfish.  Why take the day off when my dear friend Susie has so much going on!  She needs me! 

Hold the phone! It’s ok to be there for Susie and support her, but it’s less ok to absorb (mentally, emotionally, spiritually) and make Susie’s burdens your own.  Easier said than done, I know.  

I am here today to say “Reclaim the seflish!” It’s ok. Set your emotional boundaries and let people know what you can and cannot do! Keep your expectations of yourself realistic.  We cannot save anyone at the end of the day. Take that spa da, schedule in daily time for spiritual practice or whatever it is you need to know that you have honored your needs, your time, your health, your happiness. 

Sending all my love xoxo



Welcome in the Good!

This morning I woke up with somewhat of a migraine. Not my favorite way to wake up.  I tend to get a related aura in my visual field when this happens.

Thankfully, the stars and irregularities in my vision subsided and I made it in to my 9-5 this morning, a little worse for wear, but proud that I made it this far.

Some things that helped me get through….

When I got out of my car upon arriving at what I sometimes call “the cave” (my office space is tiny, cramped, and somewhat cluttered), I noticed that the sun was shining, I heard birds chirping happily for the first time since the beginning of winter here in New Jersey, and the air actually smelled of spring! Not to mention Stevie Nicks has been on the radio all day today.  Whenever I need a pick me up and like I need to feel strong on a particular day, I will listen to dear Stevie.  I keep getting small reminders all day today that despite feeling under the weather and despite not wanting to come to work today, that I am STILL OK.

The moment I stopped wallowing (thanks little birds, wherever you are on this beautiful day) I felt instantly better and was able to get back on my feet.

I got the opportunity to speak to a wonderful friend and very wise woman last week  (I will ask her if I can feature her name on my blog, she does excellent energy and intuitive work and is just all around amazing to talk to about ANY topic) after falling into a little bit of a slump.

I have been feeling overwhelmed and I listed for her everything that I have been doing…working, volunteering, trying to learn more about reiki, spending time with my significant other, making time for family, pining for just some one on one time with my bestie but just not being able to find a free moment to myself.

My beautiful confidant reminded me that although I am doing a lot good things, am I actually doing what I WANT to do (which is just spend all day reading about, talking about, and conducting reiki and intuitive sessions) and be able to connect with all of the people in my life that I love so dearly. The answer would be NO and realistically there are certain responsibilities I have right now that I would like to keep up with.

So what would l like you to take away from my experience today?

Even though things may not currently be aligned with your vision or what makes you happy, the BIRDS ARE STILL CHIRPING, the world is still turning, the seasons are changing (it’s a miracle!), and you are still here another day, with another chance to do something wonderful – even if it’s honoring where you are for today and taking it easy – which is what I will be doing this week as I continue to move from thought into ACTION (another piece of advice from my intuitively-inclined friend, thank you!). 

Sending you all of my love and sunshine,

Lauren xoxo


There are times when I sit down and ask myself, “How do I just KNOW this?” – without prior information, with such conviction I feel it deep in my bones.  I have been pondering lately the concept of intuition and whether it is a gift afforded to just a few or whether we all have the capacity to be able to get information on various frequencies of energy.  For instance, I myself am very empathic naturally, but am able to see auras at some times or channel information from spirit or those who have passed.  I have been able to tap into some of these gifts in the energy work that I have been doing, getting attuned to Reiki Level II.

**Background for you if you are reading “reiki level II” and saying HUH?! – in order to perform reiki on others (and yourself) you go through a process of attunement that allows you to channel reiki or universal life energy, as I have heard it called.  There is a lot of information about it online.  Please leave me a comment if you would like some advice on some resources like books that I have used to study the subject.  Truly, in my experience, a life-changing event.  With each attunement, I feel myself shedding the old and being more open to beautiful possibilities. TANGENT has ENDED!

So when I look back and see how I have been able to tap into some gifts that did not come out naturally for me as a child (or maybe were repressed in some way by society or just my environment? Big questions!!!) it makes me believe that WE ALL have the potential to be able to receive information.  It’s just that some may be more predisposed to receive naturally and that if we center ourselves and believe in our capacity to receive we can be pretty surprised with the potential that is within us all. I believe with all of my heart that WE ALL are capable of much more than we give ourselves credit for.  For instance, if you are a parent – do you sometimes just know when something bad may happen to your child? If you are a dog lover, do you surprise yourself about how you can communicate seemingly accurately with your canine pal?  All abilities that we may cut off if we say – nah! that was just a coincidence.

Be brave and see the light within you today! You owe it to yourself to think about how you can begin to see the world in new ways.  From my own experience, it has taught me to appreciate life and the fact that in KNOWING certain things, I sometimes can only just wonder in awe and accept that I cannot possibly know with my intellectual human mind the answers to the big questions.  Sigh! Isn’t the universe a beautiful place?!  You are a part of it.  After all, aren’t we all made of star dust in the end? Forever linked into the web of consciousness that is far beyond what the human mind can understand but what I feel the human heart and soul already know as HOME.  Sending you lots of love and encouragement as you sit back and wonder at what a miracle YOU are.

Until next time, with all of my love, xoxo


The Call

It’s been a while.  I know I’ve been thinking about you.  Thank you for stopping by if this is your first time at Beginner’s Guide to Being Yourself.

Today I want to share with you a bit of my own experience lately in the hopes that it will touch your heart and let you know…we are all in this together.

I have been trying to venture into the world of blogging for a few months now and I have found it to be a difficult task.  Writing, you ask? No that is the not the problem, I find the task to be rather enjoyable.

The day to day stressors and happenings having been popping in to say “Hello there!” more than usual lately and my response has been to give them all of my attention, worry, fret, and feeling resentful of people and situations around me….longing for what is truly in my heart.

However, today I ask myself, why am I falling into this pattern again? I know I want to take care of myself more and follow my dreams…but how is it that I keep getting sidetracked…..my dreams and life purpose are waiting for me……like old friends with arms open and ready to embrace me..Spirit is reminding me of this with the small glimmers of hope that shine through on days like to day like a drop of water in the desert.  Why can’t I take that leap of faith and jump right in?

I attended a life-altering  retreat this past weekend that gave me some insight into this very question.  MINDSET!  My fear that nothing else will come along or that I will not find a way to bring my full vision into fruition is blocking me from seeing all of the opportunities that are already out there for me.  I am my own obstacle in a sense and it is this fear and complacency that is keeping me here. I know in my heart that my current work position is not suited to my life purpose, personality, and true calling, for instance, and yet I continue to drag myself in every day – draining me of my energy.   Will I take the leap?  Tune in to see.

So what is it that I would like you take from my experience…

The universe is always sending out reminders that it is here to help you.  All you have to do is 1. ask for the help and 2. listen for THE CALL.  The call can be a situation that happens over and over and over again, reminding you that whatever it is you are doing is just not working for you.  The call can be a seemingly coincidental job interview or unexpected opportunity that falls into your lap even.

BUT REMEMBER…You don’t need to damper the call’s voice with self-doubt or negative “what-ifs.” Instead think, “Why not?!” or “Why not me?!” The world is our oyster.  It is ours for the taking.

Faith and courage are the name of the game.

Love yourself for who you are already rather than just for what you do and know that at the end of the day, your life is a miracle and gift with which you can move mountains and change lives….if you are quiet (on the inside) and brave enough to hear the call and take the first leap.

For anyone who is interested in the training that I mentioned it was located in Westfield, NJ and it was called the Money Mindset Makeover.  See victoriawhitfield.com for more details.  Discovering the world of reiki and energy work have significantly helped me to already improve my mindset and at least become more aware of areas I would like to work on.  More on that to come!  The retreat also taught me the importance of surrounding yourself with people who are striving towards the same growth as you.  Everyone needs a tribe and this opportunity definitely helped me meet and add some awesome new members of my “wolf pack” to turn to for ideas and support.

With all my love, xoxo



Hope-Desktop-Wallpaper-1920I’ve been there.

I’m still there

Waking up every morning

Letting the day pass me by

And then looking  back and thinking

“Where the heck did my day go?”

And then something happened.

I woke up one morning

Got into the shower

Put on the same clothes

But something just didn’t feel right

I began to question

“What is the meaning of all this?”

“Do I really need to continue living my life this way?”

For a few months

I thought to myself

“This is just the way life is

I see people do it every day”

But that just wasn’t good enough.

After many hours of contemplation



I am happy to say that I feel


Hope that not only can I find

Ways to improve

My life

And feel more fulfilled

But maybe I can help others out

On the way

As well.

It’s not always going to be


But, it’s real.